The Blog of cripplecrow

Happy independence day, American friends!

In Israel, we have nothing but love for America and all Americans. Many don't agree with what Israel does, but in the end, it doesn't matter because you still have to pay the taxes that help fund Israel! HA!

When I was getting ready to leave Israel, there were several places in mind as to where I wanted to live for the next few years. Among them were India, the UK, and the US. I spent a bit of time in all of the places and I decided that I not only felt the safest in the US, but I felt more welcome (no offense to any Indians or Britts here, I do much like the UK too). The culture in the US is the closest to Israel, and the mindset here in Los Angeles is nearly equivalent (however, I'd say we've still got you a bit beat on the amount of craziness we have).

Anyway....

I LOVE AMERICA!

I posted this on my old account, but I just love wasting everyone's time, so I'm posting it again.

Disgusting, absolutely disgusting.

Last night, I was getting naked so that I could go to bed (its hot!), and I noticed that I had two fairly large mosquito bites on my upper thigh. I mean... what the heck?? I don't remember them being itchy, not to mention I was wearing jeans! Its not like I was walking around in nothing but whitey-tighties...

Well, over the course of last night, they became HUGE. They are soo itchy now. I've been using Cortaid, but I can't stop scratching them. Dear lord, it is driving me mad. The two bites are so big, they're starting to form together. I took a ruler to the bigger of the two and it is 3.5" in diameter. Ohhh myyy gosssshhh...

I'm going mad. I'm going to chop off my leg!!!!!!

See Conan O'Brien with Jordan Schlansky and more funny videos on FunnyOrDie.com
See more funny videos at Funny or Die

What can I say? I love sacrilege..

Teela and I went to the beach today.... and I got the most amazing tan ever.

The bad thing is, is I'm very upset about this.

I never get sunburned... ever. Really. I only tan. Well, I am paranoid about getting wrinkles and skin cancer. They say that if you get enough sun to change your skin tone (not necessarily red), it increases your chances of getting skin cancer.

Well, I still got a tan even though I kept reapplying my SPF 15 (I'm allergic to anything above 30, even if its "hypoallergenic").

Booooo hoooo hooooo!!!!

So, how about that "assassination attempt" on Sarkozy when he was visiting in Israel?

He was getting on the plane and there was a gun shot heard and the guards went to, well, guard Sarkozy and his wife. Olmert ran into his bullet proof car (he definitely needs that.... nobody likes him...)

Well, they thought it was an assassination attempt.

Apparently it was actually an Israeli soldier who just randomly shot himself during the ceremony. Yeah. Just commit suicide right there. Weeeeiiiiiirrrrddddoooooooo.......

Now, for a flashback to one of my favorite songs when I was 14/15 (shut up). Woo hoo!

Sitting in my family room now... by my porch... suddenly, a crow just randomly flew into my house. YEAH. It flew into my house. I shouted again, but thankfully.... it went out.

I'm keeping my door closed. If the cat wants to come in, he can scratch at the door... oooyyy vey...

Now for a really, really, really weird music video in Hindi and Hebrew....

I have my back door open because my cat is outside right now. Well, I'm sitting in my bedroom which isn't too far from the back door....

I thought I saw something lumpy and dark out of the corner of my eye, so I looked down....

.... IT WAS A FREAKING TOAD!

It startled me and I started yelling, and being that I'm naked, I as quickly as possible threw on the boxer briefs laying in front of me, and I went into the hallway and told all of my neighbors. Well, my one neighbor came in and she took it outside...

I don't dislike toads or anything, in fact, I think they're quite cute. But the damn thing made me go out into the hallway in my underwear and scream "bloody Mary". I mean, really, toad... did you really have to make me look so weak?

I was really craving ramen noodles, so I went into the hallway and shouted, "DOES ANYONE HAVE RAMEN NOODLES THAT I COULD EAT?"

Well, my one neighbor comes out with a package. Vegetarian-friendly... and it says "Gourmet spicy"..

Fine with me, I love spicy things.

I started eating it.

HOLY CRAP... this isn't just spicy this is TOO SPICY.

I love spicy things, its delicious and I can't stop eating it... but my lips are all red and inflamed and my mouth is on fire. :(

What a strange day for my once-Jewish nieces to get baptized at a Catholic church by their ass-hole grandparents (not my mom)....Father's day.... and their dead father wanted them raised Jewish...

I did go to the baptism, even though it was a huge slap in the face. Of all the churches that I would have to go to... a Catholic one. People were looking at me funny, they didn't know me. I tried to sit in the back but my deceased brother's inlaws made me sit up front with them. Oh they are so kind. I had no idea what was going on 75% of the time.

Anyway, this song makes me cry... and its kind of Father's day related. I hate to admit I like it because its not really "my style", but whatever.

How she says that he's gay just made me laugh my ass off.

When I'm not studying for school, these are the kinds of videos I watch. Oh, I can't resist...

Its really scary to see how quickly people here in Los Angeles can change. Its only been 4 years.

I never really talk about my life in Los Angeles before, well, this past October. It was kind of... really great but at the same time, really, really scary.

There are so many bums in the streets here. Most of them are drug addicts, begging for money to get a fix. I guess its to be expected, as most homeless people seem to flock to large cities. It makes you wonder though, why did they come to this particular city in the first place?

I honestly wondered that when I came here. I know that many of the bums where I'm from were just old, crazy Palestinians. They just never left their home. The inner city of Los Angeles, though, unlike Jerusalem or Haifa, is not somewhere that many people go to settle down with a family and therefor isn't really a place that many people would just be BORN at.

My friend told me that most of them were just some of the many people who come to Los Angeles looking for fame and fortune. Very few people actually get this, and the rest just either find something else to do with their lives or keep trying.

The reason that I came to Los Angeles was because I was being offered many modeling opportunities within Los Angeles. I was being moved from Elite Model Management in Israel to Elite Model Management in Los Angeles.  I traveled a lot during this time too, but most of my work was in LA.

I was living the glamorous life, and I was quite happy with all of my shallow friends. I was invited to many parties, even parties at the infamous Playboy mansion. I was a VIP many places and had many "connections".

The girls who became my friends were anorexic/bulimic and cocaine addicts. I never really became the latter, but I didn't mind snorting a bit every now and again. I think that I fell for this life so easily because of all the pain that was so near to me from having just finished in the Israeli Defense Forces.

I was.... incredibly shallow. I was rude and I was absolutely full of myself, or at least I pretended to be. Truth be told, I was suffering from major Body Dysmorphic Disorder as I think most people (at least girls) who are party people and wannabe actresses/actors/models do.

I acted like a G-d everywhere I went. I obsessed over my appearance, I hooked up with girls I didn't know at all way too often, I was using drugs, and drinking. My clothes were all designer brand. Everything had to be, even my sunglasses and shoes.

I acted like a complete divo (you know, male diva). I yelled at make-up artists, I sucked up to photographers but complained like crazy if everything wasn't my way. I hardly talked to my parents at all and even made my mother cry with my rude remarks. I hardly talked to my brothers either. My friends from Israel really didn't mean much to me anymore.

With all of this going on in my life, its a wonder to me how I didn't fail any classes in med school. And yes, I was in med school during all of this. I can't say I put forth too much effort...

I couldn't really recognize myself anymore, but at the same time I didn't even know who I was. Somewhere between leaving for boot camp in 1999, and  going by a different name when I was taken in by a big-name agency in Los Angeles in 2003, I completely lost myself.

My father had been diagnosed with prostate cancer in his 30's and it returned in 2006. My brother was also diagnosed with cancer, but his of the pancreas, on May 7, 2007 - my 26th birthday. My father and brother both died within months of each other. It was at this point that I realized how wrong I had been with my life. I felt so guilty for not being there for them...

In October 2007, I stopped modeling and I threw away this "glamorous life", or as I look back and realize... a miserable life. I had to stop school earlier for a bit... I needed a break for my health.

All this time I had been using the drugs, the alcohol, and the "fame" to make myself feel better because of the PTSD and BDD... but it only made me worse.

I changed a lot, and so did many of my friends. Some of them moved to Arizona and Colorado to start families. Many are in rehab.... and many more than I'd like to imagine are dead from drugs. I'm sure that many of those will become like the bums....

I am glad that I am not in the latter category, and I'm glad I'm not a bum like many had become. I feel for these bums... I know where they were.

I wish I could just tell every girl or boy who dreams of being famous in Hollywood about how it really just ruins your life... but maybe its part of learning. Maybe there's a reason for this, I don't know.

My friend has been wanting to breed his female rabbit for a while now.... why, I don't know, I guess he wants more bunnies...

Well, who has a male bunny of the same breed? I do! So... today, we forced our rabbits to get it on.

My friend put his bunny in my bunny's cage and my bunny started chasing his bunny around...and then got on top of her. He was only going at it for a few seconds and then just like fell off and did a squeal and then was panting. Apparently, this is typical... poor thing, I think he needed a cigarette afterwards.

I can't look at him the same now. He's no longer my cute, innocent bunny. He's not a virgin! Nooooo!

Jerusalem, if I forget you,

fire not gonna come from me tongue.

Jerusalem, if I forget you,

let my right hand forget what it's supposed to do.



In the ancient days, we will return with no delay

Picking up the bounty and the spoils on our way

We've been traveling from state to state

And them don't understand what they say

3,000 years with no place to be

And they want me to give up my milk and honey

Don't you see, it's not about the land or the sea

Not the country but the dwelling of his majesty



Rebuild the temple and the crown of glory

Years gone by, about sixty

Burn in the oven in this century

And the gas tried to choke, but it couldn't choke me

I will not lie down, I will not fall asleep

They come overseas, yes they're trying to be free

Erase the demons out of our memory

Change your name and your identity

Afraid of the truth and our dark history

Why is everybody always chasing we

Cut off the roots of your family tree

Don't you know that's not the way to be



Caught up in these ways, and the worlds gone craze

Don't you know it's just a phase

Case of the Simon says

If I forget the truth then my words won't penetrate

Babylon burning in the place, can't see through the haze

Chop down all of them dirty ways,

That's the price that you pay for selling lies to the youth

No way, not ok, oh no way, not ok, hey

Aint no one gonna break my stride

Aint no one gonna pull me down

Oh no, I got to keep on moving

Stay alive